Category: Old School (Page 23 of 29)

The New Hairdo: The Hair Does You

August 27, 2011 / Paul Eide

You know the hairdo; anybody who works for a nameless corporation has seen the IT people in their company rocking this hairstyle, along with bleached white Jerry Seinfled-esque tennis shoes and tight blue denim jeans worn in classic “high-water” style. You can’t just grow it; it grows you.

It’s sort of like Rod Blagojevich’s hair but without the forced part and looks more like a sponge/white afro. The hair just IS. So what’s a brother to do? Rock that shit. It’s in like made for TV Kardashian weddings.

Grooming, Hair Styles, New Trends, Old School

Growth Hair Helmet

White People And Dreadlocks Are Out

August 19, 2011 / Paul Eide

In a sense, white people with dreadlocks are an offense to nature, like the “Double Down” sandwich from Burger King. While the “Double Down” literally gives Mother Nature the middle finger (combining parts from pig, chicken and cow, then frying it), white people with dreads do much the same thing because they are forced and do not occur naturally.

Was that style ever really “in”, anyway? We all knew “Phish Kid” who had them and thought it was a phase, just like the copious drug use. Unless you’re Jon Favreau in the cult hit PCU, and you happen to be white, don’t do it. We all know you’re just mad at your dad.

What was that? You want to know how to style your hair into dreadlocks, and you’re a white person? Well, step one is to stop showering, which is no way to start a new hair style or anything else really.

Hair Styles, New Trends, Old School

Dreadlocks Hair Styles White Dreadlocks

Manscaping- Just Do It

August 15, 2011 / Paul Eide

Don’t ask any questions, don’t look at me all stupid, just get in there and trim it up. There was an era when the ladies loved the exploits of the chest hair Tom Jones was attached to. But now, men aren’t men thanks to Robert Pattinson and his ilk.

I’m not advocating using a Bic razor and shaving it off completely, just a trim job. Chest hair really is the least of our concerns when it comes to body hair. Especially if you make it look all cool like this dude. Or this guy. The real issue is your hairy ass legs, my man. No, the inside of them, right below the family jewels. Don’t be the male of “Gin-uh” in The 40 Year Old Version.

Grooming, New Trends, Old School, Shaving

Chest Hair Grooming manscaping Tom Jones

Ear Hair Is The New Nose Hair

August 14, 2011 / Paul Eide

I was 16 and in Scotland for the first time. As much as I want to remember anything else about the trip, I can’t. The only thing I could focus on for the duration or remember even now was the immense amount of ear hair my host had protruding from each ear.

It had the density of unkempt weeds of a highway off ramp and the thickness of the Sequoia National Park. I couldn’t listen to anything this man said, or respect any of his opinions because of one simple fact; his ear hair was out of control.

When was the last time you thought about or even looked at your ear hair? If you can see it in the mirror, it needs to be trimmed. Even if you go to Wal-Mart and buy the cheapest trimmer (for around $10) it could be the difference between spending time with a hot “Betty” you meant poolside, and another night playing “Modern Warfare” drinking PBR. I think the choice is obvious.

Grooming, Old School

Ear Hair Grooming Nose Hair Paul Eide

The Hipster Moustache Is BACK

August 8, 2011 / Paul Eide

Reports out of Chicago have indicated the “Hipster Moustache” is BACK. People who don’t even know who Rollie Fingers is are biting his style at unprecedented levels. Young white males have been swallowed up in a trend of El Nino proportions.

If you feel something scrape against your shoulder, car, bed, etc., DON’T turn around; the “Hipster Moustache” thrives on eye to eye contact and sees it as a challenge. Instead, stand completely still and let the “Hipster Moustache” pass, on its way to get another tattoo of a toaster, or dripping ice cream cone or something else that makes no sense whatsoever and will only be regretted later.

Grooming, New Trends, Old School

Facial Hair Hipster Moustache moustache