Category: Grooming (Page 43 of 55)

      Manscaping- Just Do It

      August 15, 2011 /

      Don’t ask any questions, don’t look at me all stupid, just get in there and trim it up. There was an era when the ladies loved the exploits of the chest hair Tom Jones was attached to. But now, men aren’t men thanks to Robert Pattinson and his ilk.

      I’m not advocating using a Bic razor and shaving it off completely, just a trim job. Chest hair really is the least of our concerns when it comes to body hair. Especially if you make it look all cool like this dude. Or this guy. The real issue is your hairy ass legs, my man. No, the inside of them, right below the family jewels. Don’t be the male of “Gin-uh” in The 40 Year Old Version.

      Grooming, New Trends, Old School, Shaving

      Ear Hair Is The New Nose Hair

      August 14, 2011 /

      I was 16 and in Scotland for the first time. As much as I want to remember anything else about the trip, I can’t. The only thing I could focus on for the duration or remember even now was the immense amount of ear hair my host had protruding from each ear. 

      It had the density of unkempt weeds of a highway off ramp and the thickness of the Sequoia National Park. I couldn’t listen to anything this man said, or respect any of his opinions because of one simple fact; his ear hair was out of control.

      When was the last time you thought about or even looked at your ear hair? If you can see it in the mirror, it needs to be trimmed. Even if you go to Wal-Mart and buy the cheapest trimmer (for around $10) it could be the difference between spending time with a hot “Betty” you meant poolside, and another night playing “Modern Warfare” drinking PBR. I think the choice is obvious.

      Grooming, Old School

      Bill Simmons take heat for his mustache

      August 13, 2011 /

      In his new mailbag on his new website (Grantland.com), ESPN’s Bill Simmons shares some of the funnier emails he received regarding his new mustache:

      Q: Saw you on PTI, Simmons. I have a quiz for you:

      Your mustache makes you look like:

      A) A supervillain’s accountant.
      B) A wealthy/preppy date-rapist’s enabling father.
      C) A Russian arms dealer.
      D) A washed-up porn star trying desperately to stay relevant past his expiration date.
      E) Tom Selleck’s creepy half-brother.
      F) All of the above.
      — Nick, Seattle

      SG: Uh-oh, it looks like we’ve reached the “Rag on Simmons’ mustache” portion of the mailbag. Put on your seat belt and brace yourselves …

      Q: I saw you on PTI the other day, and I was just wondering: Does the mustache come with a white, windowless van, or did you have to buy your own?
      — Joe, Chicago

      SG: I’m renting. Come on, let’s keep this moving, keep ’em coming.

      Q: Quick question: I’m casting a new reality show called “Guys Who Look Somewhat Normal Until They Grow Facial Hair, Then … Hide Your Damned Kids!”. We’re looking at a Spike TV pickup for the spring season. You in or do I need to go through a booking agent?
      — Jeremy, Boise, ID

      SG: Count me in. As long as it doesn’t conflict with the filming of Magnum PTI.

      Q: Nice stache, you look like everyone’s gay uncle that’s still in the closet, but everyone really knows he’s gay.
      — Tim, Boston

      SG: Thanks^.

      It does look pretty funny . . .

      Grooming

      The Hipster Moustache Is BACK

      August 8, 2011 /

       

      Reports out of Chicago have indicated the “Hipster Moustache” is BACK. People who don’t even know who Rollie Fingers is are biting his style at unprecedented levels. Young white males have been swallowed up in a trend of El Nino proportions.

      If you feel something scrape against your shoulder, car, bed, etc., DON’T turn around; the “Hipster Moustache” thrives on eye to eye contact and sees it as a challenge. Instead, stand completely still and let the “Hipster Moustache” pass, on its way to get another tattoo of a toaster, or dripping ice cream cone or something else that makes no sense whatsoever and will only be regretted later.

      Grooming, New Trends, Old School

      Moss’ Hair Added To His Legacy

      August 6, 2011 /

      For all that Randy Moss contributed on the field with his freakish ways, his blasé attitude and penchant for sound bites, his sweet hairstyles were equally important. He did for hairstyles what Dennis Rodman did for tattoos.

      Before Moss, cornrows were largely unheard of and were considered “thugged out” exclusively. Which is what him wearing them while he played for Marshall after getting kicked out of Florida State and Notre Dame made them so awesome; he didn’t care and never did.

      After getting drafted lower than he should have, he shaved them off and had the best rookie year for a wide receiver ever, all while rocking a business like fade.

      Once he’d established himself as the best WR in the game, he grew an afro and left it unkempt. Which was his style when he “mooned” Packer fans in the playoffs.

      From then on, it was combination cornrows/braids to the end. And how do you pay for those, Randy? “Straight cash, homey.”

      Grooming, Hair Styles, Old School

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