When you get a new haircut, there’s always some joker with something to say about it. In this instance, the haircut belongs to San Francisco Giants ace pitcher Tim Lincecum and the joker in question is the entire internet.
I for one, miss Tim’s long locks as they always reminded me of Mitch Kramer from the movie Dazed and Confused.
As we enter the start of the MLB season a week from today, there’s one less non-conformist out there, hurling the spheroid.
In this Gatorade spot for it’s new product “Fixation”, Kevin Durant dreams that Dwyane Wade is swatting him at the rim in a tense situation, while across the country, D Wade is dreaming that “Durantula” is dunking on him in the exact same scenario.
So was it even a dream? And, is it possible that both scenarios actually took place, in a parallel reality where OKC beat the Heat in the 2012 NBA Finals and the Thunder are coming off of a loss to the Bulls, completing the second longest winning streak in NBA history?
In either reality, Gatorade’s “Fixation” is available for consumption, check it out here.
In a new TV ad for Boost Mobile, New Orleans Hornets #1 draft pick Anthony Davis’ unibrow tells you its innermost thoughts about being “The most famous piece of eye hair in the world.? And of course, the new Gametime Plus app from Boost Mobile.
Davis famously took out a copyright on his unibrow last year. Unibrows are pretty gross, chicks don’t like them- if a regular citizen like you or I tried to rock the unibrow, we’d be chased through the town square with pitch forks and torches, treated like the freak we would be.
But if you’re a 7-foot stud NBA rookie fresh off winning the NCAA championship, men want to be your unbrow, while women want to be with it.
Check out the ad here. It’s voice sounds curiously similar to ESPN’s Marcellus Wiley.
He put the Beefaroni in his hand cart and suddenly said, “Do you have any idea how hard it is to shave with one eye?” Which was weird because we were still in the Beefaroni aisle.
“No, I don’t. I assume it would be difficult. How do you do it?”
“Slowly, to be sure,” he said. “But I also use this badass shit that you should try out. I helped you out with the Mini Ravioli, let me help you with this.”
I didn’t have anywhere to be, so I followed him to another aisle. Plus, it felt cool to be associated with a guy wearing an eye-patch in public.
Baby, let’s get down to brass tax. Spring has “sprung” and that means Spring Training is also in “full swing”. It’s time to “spread the pollen around.”
If a guy ever tells you that he doesn’t enjoy watching you scarf down that hot dog (or banana) from your view in the box seats, he’s straight up lying to impress you. For shame, germs.
Which is why I like this dude and the serious face he makes when he confirms he is in fact, “turned on.”
You’ve been warned, baby. Now…who wants an Astro Pop??
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