He put the Beefaroni in his hand cart and suddenly said, “Do you have any idea how hard it is to shave with one eye?” Which was weird because we were still in the Beefaroni aisle.

“No, I don’t. I assume it would be difficult. How do you do it?”

“Slowly, to be sure,” he said. “But I also use this badass shit that you should try out. I helped you out with the Mini Ravioli, let me help you with this.”

I didn’t have anywhere to be, so I followed him to another aisle. Plus, it felt cool to be associated with a guy wearing an eye-patch in public.