So what if a couple farmers from Dubuque, IA didn’t think much of my Fedora; I thought their Dekalb logo-emblazoned t-shirts were as preposterous as the way they interspersed the word “ain’t” throughout their cheap, low-level casual conversation.
Category: New Trends (Page 16 of 41)
Image Credit: Rob Dolecki/DigBMX.com
When Mountain Dew gave me the opportunity to head down to Orlando, Florida for two days to learn how to ride bikes with professional BMX riders Chad DeGroot and Mark Mulville, I couldn’t shirk off the responsibilities of fatherhood, home ownership and general employment fast enough.
How do you “carve a bowl”? What’s a “drop in”? Why is a chick with a banana the most powerful thing in the universe? These questions and more, answered by pro BMX riders Mark Mulville and Chad DeGroot, HERE:
Even if they don’t want us to believe it, women need to shave too. We already know that they never sweat, but rather “glow,” and they never fart or have to use the bathroom.
But even they have unwanted hair that grows on a regular basis and needs to be maintained, when they travel or leave home, just like us. The Schick Xtreme 3 Hawaiian Tropic disposable razor was made just for them.
Chicks like things that smell good — this is a fact. So what did the geniuses at Schick do? They made a razor that has the womanly scent of coconut built right in that never diminishes or goes away, unlike a man.
So, you really thought you nailed it out of the park on Valentine’s Day, huh friend? Well think again. Unless you are actually Bruce Willis you failed. It isn’t just a matter of opinion either, it’s raw scientific fact.
A recent Valentine’s Day survey commissioned by IMAX® Corporation (NYSE:IMAX; TSX:IMX) revealed that – of U.S. adults who would spend Valentine’s Day with a star whose movie is opening that day (Bruce Willis, Josh Duhamel or Jack O’Connell) – 68 percent would spend the evening with Bruce Willis, star of the upcoming action film A Good Day to Die Hard.
The survey, conducted online by Harris Interactive among more than 2,000 U.S. adults (18+) in February 2013, asked participants which of the following movie stars who have major movies coming out this Valentine’s Day they would most want to spend the evening with: Bruce Willis (A Good Day to Die Hard), Josh Duhamel (Safe Haven) or Jack O’Connell (Beautiful Creatures).
Additional findings showed:
· Men are more likely to choose Bruce Willis than woman (85 percent vs. 54 percent)
· Women are more likely to choose Josh Duhamel than men (40 percent vs. 13 percent)
And even if you ARE Bruce Willis, you failed too, because at this point, your woman is tired of you and your rugged sexiness. Guys, you just can’t win.
Unless you have a 10 inch wiener made of chocolate that sprays money and hate sports, you’ve got no shot.
If you’re thinking of getting married, DON’T, stupid. As a man who has been “actively divorced” for three years I really don’t know why I ever decided to complicate my life.
For instance tonight, I spent two hours after work watching highlights of the 1995 NBA Dunk Contest/Three Point Shootout. I ate dinner from a can and a blender. I stopped re-watching season 2 of Breaking Bad to write this. And I haven’t even mentioned my masturbation schedule yet.
Regardless, if you’re in a hurry to shit the bed in terms of far-reaching relationship decision making, consider these facts from David’s Bridal:
– More than half of brides (57%) would change something about their engagement ring if they could, with the biggest gripe being wanting a bigger stone (19%)
– 80% would scoff at a public Facebook proposal
– 63% wouldn’t say yes to their beau proposing on a Jumbotron
– 57% of brides would say no to the ever-popular flash mob proposal!
And if she says no, she’s doing you a favor, you idiot. Remember it isn’t just the proposal that’s about her but the entire fucking relationship.
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