Author: Paul Eide (Page 70 of 77)

Brown Belt With Black Shoes- Really, Sir?

On its face it looked like a normal outfit- a smart black polo, tucked neatly into an equally black pair of “Chaps” pants. But that was while he was sitting down, his outfit obscured by a well-placed table top.

Suddenly, he stood up to corral a beverage from the bar and his fashion sin became overtly obvious.

One so heinous, so egregious, a sin to outweigh all other combined it cannot be overlooked. And that sin is wearing a brown belt with black shoes. There is nothing on earth that looks more dorky, even wearing an “Alf” shirt. How old are you, sir? Old enough to know better.

 

Chicago – City Of Moustaches

The stats are in- Chicago is the most “Moustache Friendly” city in the US. After a two year study by the American Moustache Institute, the “City of Broad Shoulders” won the title. AMI behavioral economists sought to better understand which top-performing metropolitan areas provide the most nourishing opportunities and livable communities for people of Mustached American descent.

As a result, “Stache Bash 2011” will be held in Chicago on October 28th. Start growing your “stache” now and maybe you can sneak in.

Brady To Bieber Cut- “Never Say Never”

We know for sure that Tom Brady cut his hair. But thanks to a well-placed hat, we don’t know exactly what he’s got going on under there. How sweet would it be if he had Cornrows? Or a Mowhawk?

Just like David Patten, David Givens, Jabar Gafney or Randy Moss before Bieber, Tommy B. didn’t need the “Bieber” cut to make him. Which is why he “cut” ties with it. “Never Say Never”, Justin. You were a “passing” fad and your modified “Bowl Cut” wasn’t gonna bring him “Down To Earth”- the cut was a “One Time” thing. Now, you’ll just have to find “Somebody To Love.”

Quinn Puts The “Man” In Mannequin

If “Quinn” the AXE Mannequin can pick up a hot babe like Kendra thanks to AXE Body Spray, imagine what  you can do considering you have a heartbeat and a bank account, the two things women care about most, not necessarily in that order.

Quinn is kind of a stud though, with his perfect abs and chiseled facial features. So if you want to have any shot at keeping your girlfriend when he’s around, load up on the AXE and spray in the areas detailed here.

The Handle Bar Moustache- Can You “Handle” It, Ladies?

What’s better than feeling a man’s moustache rub against your cheek, ladies? What’s better than its scent, its carefully crafted arc? It’s what makes a man, a man, baby. And that’s what you’re after.

The “Handlebar Moustache” says, “Hey baby I’m rough and tough and build things made out of iron and use power tools, casually, but I’ve also got the savior faire and finesse of a young Tom Selleck- how far is your apartment from here?”

If you want to set the MLB all time save record when you grow up, here’s how to groom your own “Handlebar”.

Remember ladies, the “Handlebar” likes to tickle- and don’t you like to be tickled??

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