When we meet a woman for the first time, the first date takes on heightened importance. For some guys this can be stressful, and it can be stressful for her as well. But it’s the ultimate opportunity to have some fun and enjoy the process of getting to know someone.
Here are some tips to keep in mind, with the context that every situation is different.
Physical Attraction
Men are visual creatures, so we’re highly influenced of course by what a potential female partner looks like, whether we’re open to a hookup or a more serious relationship. So that first encounter is important, espcially if you met her initially on a dating app. If she has a killer smile like the woman in the photo above, and she has a nice figure as well, then we usually know instantly our level of attraction.
For women it’s a bit different. Looks matter of course, but the conversation and general vibe will probably be more important. Still, you want to look good and make a positive first impression. Dress appropriately for the venue. If you’re meeting at a coffee shops, shorts or other casual wear might be perfect. If you’re meeting for drinks, dress in a way that fits the venue (cocktail bar vs dive bar.)
More importantly, pick clothes that fit you well. I have some “go to” polo shirts, t-shirts and dress shirts that fit me perfectly. I always use those for a first meet or first date.
Venue and Type of Date
I like to avoid elaborate first dates, like dinner at a nice restaurant. I prefer something more casual like a coffee date or meeting at a farmer’s market.
You want to be able to have a conversation and not get stuck in a long dinner if things aren’t working. Meeting for drinks is always a good option as well. Save your fancy restaurant budget for women you’re already sleeping with!
This is wear you’ll get a real sense of whether there’s mutual chemistry. I’ve had some duds where the conversation was like pulling teeth, and then other coffee dates where we talked effortlessly for hours. Of course you have to have some game here, and we won’t get into all the tactics you can employ to make her atracted to you. But you’ll get a sense of whether the two of you click when you start having a real conversation.
Humor and Flirting
If things start going well, then you can start firting and trying to make her laugh. If the two of you can laugh together, then you’re really onto something, and then flirting usually comes naturally. Try to have fun and see if she goes along with it. Also, always be prepared to tell some stories, and avoid persistent interview questions. Focus on fun stories that have a sense of adventure or humor and you’ll grab her attention.
Pay attention to her body language and then adjust accordingly. You’ll getting a sense as to whether the vibe is working, and don’t be afraid to adjust if you’re interested but she’s not quite there.
On the other hand, if you’re not feeling it, be a gentleman and kill her with kindness. You can end the date pretty quickly, but you can do it in a friendly way.
Get Out There
Too many men these days are relying on apps and staying at home. Get out there. Mingle and meet women. If you match with a woman on an app and she’s attractive, then ask her to meet for coffee or a drink. If she’s not into it, don’t get frustrated. Treat her with respect and then move on. Each first date is an opportunity, and even if it doesn’t work out, you can work on your game and conversational skills. Over time you’ll see the results as you meet more women where you can find that mutual chemistry,
