Who killed the Crew Cut? Was it Chris Mullin? Was it the military?

“I want answers! I want the truth!” “You can’t handle the truth!”

Recently, Robert Pattinson got credit for sporting a Crew Cut, but since when is “high and tight” a Crew Cut? Uhh, since NEVER. My grandfather promply rolled over in his grave, uttered the word “Pansy’s” and went back to sleep.

Wait- if a teeny bopper is sporting one, it can’t be dead, right?? But if you’re going to do it, please do it right. Now, pass the whiskey.