Category: Old School (Page 24 of 29)

Moss’ Hair Added To His Legacy

For all that Randy Moss contributed on the field with his freakish ways, his blasé attitude and penchant for sound bites, his sweet hairstyles were equally important. He did for hairstyles what Dennis Rodman did for tattoos.

Before Moss, cornrows were largely unheard of and were considered “thugged out” exclusively. Which is what him wearing them while he played for Marshall after getting kicked out of Florida State and Notre Dame made them so awesome; he didn’t care and never did.

After getting drafted lower than he should have, he shaved them off and had the best rookie year for a wide receiver ever, all while rocking a business like fade.

Once he’d established himself as the best WR in the game, he grew an afro and left it unkempt. Which was his style when he “mooned” Packer fans in the playoffs.

From then on, it was combination cornrows/braids to the end. And how do you pay for those, Randy? “Straight cash, homey.”

White Guys With Cornrows: A Retrospective

It all started with a young Justin Timberlake and it looked ridiculous while it was happening. But since he had an afro prior, it almost went off without being noticed. Wisely, JT’s management team never let him dabble in a popular black hairstyle ever again. And JT regrets it to this day, which is why I respect him.

Then, Kevin Federline entered our lives, impregnated Britney Spears and was GHOST. Then he ate them. Not the kids, the cornrows. Along with everything else in his house.  

Then David Beckham came in after everyone was desensitized. And no one cared.

If you Google “White Guys With Cornrows”, then click on “News”, you’ll notice all results implicate the proprietor in a recent crime.

White guys, don’t do it.

Kristin Cavallari Gone- “Hair Helmet” Next?

Fresh off of making possibly the greatest decision of his life, is it possible that another good decision is on deck for Jay Cutler as well? I’m talking about finally parting ways with his “Hair Helmet”.

The “Hair Helmet” is definitely a regional cut, sort of like a “Hi-Top Fade” is to a urban area or a mullet is to Council Bluffs, Iowa. While there’s nothing wrong with it, per say, it’s dated and isn’t meant for anyone living in an urban area like Chicago, especially in the summer time. And it just looks ridiculous. Like a woman with a cheap weave.

Seriously, you’re not eight years old anymore and your mom isn’t cutting your hair for free.  Even a faux-hawk would be an upgrade. Come one Jay, we “be-weave” in you!

The Chinstrap Beard – Perfect For Summer

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There’s just something weird about being completely unshaven in the summertime. On your face I mean, Wisenheimer.  So, how about “The Chinstrap”?  It says, “Hey I’m here, let’s party ladies- Who wants a moustache burn??”

Because you don’t want anything too heavy either, like a “Garibaldi” or “Chin Curtain”. My friend Nick Wegman can grow one of these in 10 minutes. I, however, couldn’t grow one in my entire life span. And I am forever jealous.

A variation on “The Chinstrap” is the “Rap Video Standard”, popularized by the likes of R&B artist Jon B and “K-Fed” where the “Chinstrap” actually connects to the moustache and forms a goatee.

In the words of Beavis, “Damn we’re smooth.”

Bring Back the Hi-Top Fade

I was walking to the store the other day and I saw a kid around 18 years of age rocking a hi-top fade. And I was thrilled. The only thing he was missing was the Africa Medallion. But he did have on some oversized hi tops, so it all kind of worked.

Ever since then I’ve seen them more frequently; has my “Hi-top Awareness” just been heightened thanks to the experience?  Or are more people wearing them again? Since the 90’s era of fashion is relevant again thanks to Kanye West, Brandon Jennings and Lady Gaga, I think the hi-top fade may be back. And it’s about damn time if those stupid sunglasses with the horizontal plastic lines are.

For a quick tutorial and glimpse of several variations on the style, put the movie House Party at the top of your Netflix queue. Then, have your buddy cut one for you and set a trend in your neighborhood by following this tutorial.

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