You’re 30 years old — you’re not seriously going to consider using Noxzema again, are you?

You’re a man now. And since you’re a man, your use of Noxzema should’ve gone the way of Teen Lines, Debbie Gibson and friendship bracelets… 20 years ago.

Don’t know what to use to moisturize that dried out piece of roast beef that looks like it’s seen the rise and fall of a million suns, AKA your face skin?  Well, dummy, it’s not hard to figure out. If my neighbor Bill can figure it out, that means you can too.

Read the full review here.