When I’m cleaning my face, I want a system. I don’t want to approach the situation haphazardly, like the parents on MTV’s hit TV show “Teen Mom.”

Let’s be frank — and yes, you “can still be Garth.” Your face skin is essentially your billboard to the world. And what does this billboard promote? The business of You, Incorporated.

If your face looks blotchy, dry, flaky, weird, or any other adjective that would describe a rabid Russian dog, scrounging the public subway system for scraps, you probably don’t want to look like that. You probably don’t want to look like Gorbachev, either.

You, Incorporated is coming off of another great fiscal quarter, but how do you maintain the momentum and feed all the families who depend on your face?

Read the full review here.

In this Gatorade spot for it’s new product “Fixation”, Kevin Durant dreams that Dwyane Wade is swatting him at the rim in a tense situation, while across the country, D Wade is dreaming that “Durantula” is dunking on him in the exact same scenario.

So was it even a dream? And, is it possible that both scenarios actually took place, in a parallel reality where OKC beat the Heat in the 2012 NBA Finals and the Thunder are coming off of a loss to the Bulls, completing the second longest winning streak in NBA history?

In either reality, Gatorade’s “Fixation” is available for consumption, check it out here.

Mike Miller can’t keep his hands off of his own hair. It has never been more apparent to me than it has while watching the Heat in this year’s NBA playoffs. And neither would you if you were Mike Miller, friend. Go ahead, deny it. But, can you blame him- the fact is, it looks great.

“What three adjectives would you use to describe it, Paul?”

1) Flowing

2) Cascading

3) Unbridled

Sure, there was a time when it just looked shitty. But now, he’s rocking the mussed look. Watch the Heat as they try to close out the Knicks tomorrow afternoon. And every time Mike Miller strokes his hair, slam a beer.

Better buy a case, friend.