In a new TV ad for Boost Mobile, New Orleans Hornets #1 draft pick Anthony Davis’ unibrow tells you its innermost thoughts about being “The most famous piece of eye hair in the world.? And of course, the new Gametime Plus app from Boost Mobile.
Davis famously took out a copyright on his unibrow last year. Unibrows are pretty gross, chicks don’t like them- if a regular citizen like you or I tried to rock the unibrow, we’d be chased through the town square with pitch forks and torches, treated like the freak we would be.
But if you’re a 7-foot stud NBA rookie fresh off winning the NCAA championship, men want to be your unbrow, while women want to be with it.
If you’re thinking of getting married, DON’T, stupid. As a man who has been “actively divorced” for three years I really don’t know why I ever decided to complicate my life.
For instance tonight, I spent two hours after work watching highlights of the 1995 NBA Dunk Contest/Three Point Shootout. I ate dinner from a can and a blender. I stopped re-watching season 2 of Breaking Bad to write this. And I haven’t even mentioned my masturbation schedule yet.
Regardless, if you’re in a hurry to shit the bed in terms of far-reaching relationship decision making, consider these facts from David’s Bridal:
- More than half of brides (57%) would change something about their engagement ring if they could, with the biggest gripe being wanting a bigger stone (19%)
- 80% would scoff at a public Facebook proposal
- 63% wouldn’t say yes to their beau proposing on a Jumbotron
- 57% of brides would say no to the ever-popular flash mob proposal!
And if she says no, she’s doing you a favor, you idiot. Remember it isn’t just the proposal that’s about her but the entire fucking relationship.
Toronto Raptors power forward/center Amir Johnson recently had the teams logo cut and dyed into his hair.
What do you think? Where does the hair start and the tattoos end?
The legend of New York Knick Anthony Mason’s array of hair cuts must never die. Hair graphics have grown in popularity over the last few years, but in terms of the NBA “Mase” set a trend that has been replicated ever since. Players like Daniel Gibson and Andray Blatche have tried to mimic Mason, but nothing is better than the original.
Sadly, when researching images for this article, it appears many people have already forgotten how cool Mason was, as there are very few pics of his various haircuts and sayings carved into his head.
Do the future a solid and tell a child about Anthony Mason’s legacy today. If you don’t, the only thing we may have left comes from the Beastie Boys classic “B-Boys Makin’ With The Freak Freak”.
“Got my hair cut correct like Anthony Mason.”
Mike Miller can’t keep his hands off of his own hair. It has never been more apparent to me than it has while watching the Heat in this year’s NBA playoffs. And neither would you if you were Mike Miller, friend. Go ahead, deny it. But, can you blame him- the fact is, it looks great.
“What three adjectives would you use to describe it, Paul?”
Sure, there was a time when it just looked shitty. But now, he’s rocking the mussed look. Watch the Heat as they try to close out the Knicks tomorrow afternoon. And every time Mike Miller strokes his hair, slam a beer.
Better buy a case, friend.