Sebamed first hit store shelves in the 1960s, which makes it about twice as old as Sabretooth, famous archenemy of X-Men character Wolverine. Maybe if Sabretooth used Sebamed, his pH levels wouldn’t be so out of whack and he wouldn’t be as vicious. He would at least have better skin.
The surface of the skin is covered with a hydrolipid film called the acid mantle that is slightly acidic (pH 5.5). The acid mantle is essential for supporting the barrier functions of the outermost layer of the skin, the stratum corneum. And you thought the acid mantle and stratum corneum were obstacles you encounter during the Tough Mudder.
“Acid mantle? Stratum corneum? What is all this stuff, Paul? The active ingredients in Sebamed sound like something straight out of X-Men. But it’s just another facet of aging, and as you age, you start to care about stuff you never thought you would. Like warranties, APRs and how rezoning of the local school district may impact what school your daughter attends. You also want to avoid crow’s feet and other examples of skin pushed to the limit without the intercession of a tender hand. And that is where the tender, caring, nurturing hand of Sebamed makes the difference, just like the tender hand of Professor Charles Francis Xavier aka Professor X.
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There is no feeling on earth like sliding into the $125 robe in your room at the Ritz Carlton after spending six hours on the most difficult obstacle course in the world. Wait a minute, did someone say “Carlton”? I thought they did.
This robe is the kind of robe Carlton would’ve rocked when he was on “Silver Spoons” with Ricky Schroeder. God, how I yearned to ride on that sweet in-house train, even just to go get the mail. Imagine me and the robe and the train. We’d run a train on the train; me, Carlton, the robe, Ricky… good times.
Sure, I thought about stealing the robe. Who wouldn’t? But the minute I stepped foot off the premises, the magic would’ve been gone, like when a young Moonlight Graham steps over the foul line in “Field of Dreams” to be irrevocable transformed into Doc, the kindly doctor who removes a piece of hot dog from Kevin Costner’s daughter’s airway to save her life.
Anyway, I left the robe, and about a pound of ball skin, on the mountain that day, and lived to tell the tale.
- Keeping it REAL klassy on the mountain…
But you know what I didn’t leave on the mountain that day, friends? Sweat, or a stench of any kind. That’s because Degree had my back, not unlike the way Chuck Norris had Jonathan Brandis’ back in the movie “Sidekicks.”
Degree allows you to DO: MORE with three levels of protection.
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Going on a first date with a chick can be nerve racking, especially when the first date materializes on a whim at the prompting of your prospective lady, out of the blue. You’re not going to say no because your schedule is a little tight, are you? Shit no you’re not. You’ve been working this angle for some time now and the time is right.
So, after several sets of push-ups over a limited span of time to pump up my upper body prior to our meeting, I needed something else to really put me over the top; a secret weapon if you will. And I don’t mean an Ed Hardy shirt.
It was at this moment that I unsheathed my potential partner in grime: Speed Stick Power.
When tension rose like a cresting wave at high tide, then crashed upon the shore penetrating the sandy coast and punishing it into submission, I was dry.