Bill Simmons take heat for his mustache

In his new mailbag on his new website (Grantland.com), ESPN’s Bill Simmons shares some of the funnier emails he received regarding his new mustache:

Q: Saw you on PTI, Simmons. I have a quiz for you:

Your mustache makes you look like:

A) A supervillain’s accountant.
B) A wealthy/preppy date-rapist’s enabling father.
C) A Russian arms dealer.
D) A washed-up porn star trying desperately to stay relevant past his expiration date.
E) Tom Selleck’s creepy half-brother.
F) All of the above.
— Nick, Seattle

SG: Uh-oh, it looks like we’ve reached the “Rag on Simmons’ mustache” portion of the mailbag. Put on your seat belt and brace yourselves …

Q: I saw you on PTI the other day, and I was just wondering: Does the mustache come with a white, windowless van, or did you have to buy your own?
— Joe, Chicago

SG: I’m renting. Come on, let’s keep this moving, keep ’em coming.

Q: Quick question: I’m casting a new reality show called “Guys Who Look Somewhat Normal Until They Grow Facial Hair, Then … Hide Your Damned Kids!”. We’re looking at a Spike TV pickup for the spring season. You in or do I need to go through a booking agent?
— Jeremy, Boise, ID

SG: Count me in. As long as it doesn’t conflict with the filming of Magnum PTI.

Q: Nice stache, you look like everyone’s gay uncle that’s still in the closet, but everyone really knows he’s gay.
— Tim, Boston

SG: Thanks^.

It does look pretty funny . . .

  

The mustache and politicians


Photo from fOTOGLIF

Politico has an interesting article on politicians and their mustaches, and what seems to be a new trend in some races.

North Dakota Gov. John Hoeven’s Facebook page for his U.S. Senate campaign has more than 7,000 fans.

The Republican’s mustache has its own page, with 750 fans and counting — nearly double the number of his Democratic challenger.

In past years, an ambitious politician like Hoeven might not have been eager to rock a ’stache, which until recently has been as taboo for blow-dried, television-era politicians as the mutton-chop sideburn. But this year, Hoeven is part of a boomlet of statewide candidates who are flouting conventional wisdom by proudly sporting a ’stache.

Hoeven and his ‘stache are pictured above, and Politico goes on to list other candidates this year who also sport a mustache.

The article also addresses some mustache stereotypes.

Long-standing stereotypes surrounding mustaches help explain why, until recently, so few pols have sported them.

“Lower-nose accoutrements are often associated with certain professions, such as law enforcement, motorcycle maintenance, pornography, pipe fitters and horseshoe fitters union 173,” said Aaron Perlut, chairman of the American Mustache Institute, a mustache-advocacy group based in St. Louis. (White House senior adviser David Axelrod and Attorney General Eric Holder were both finalists for AMI’s 2009 Mustached American of the Year award.)

Mike Gelman, owner of the popular D.C. men’s salon The Grooming Lounge, said mustaches have been associated with the most sinister people who have sported them — such as Josef Stalin and Saddam Hussein.

Trends can change quickly, so perhaps one prominent politician can change everything.

  

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