Yankess Won’t Sign Brian Wilson Because Of His Beard


The Yankees need a new closer and Brian Wilson needs a job. But he doesn’t want a job with the Yankees bad enough to shave his beard.

Brian Wilson’s agent told Yankees general manager Brian Cashman that Wilson won’t shave his beard. “Cross him off the list,” Cashman reportedly said.

So, who is actually worse off as a result; the Yankees or Brian Wilson?


Sergio Rome’s Beard Vs. Brian Wilson’s Beard

Sergio Romo Sergio Romo #54 of the San Francisco Giants receives his World Series ring from managing partner Bill Neukom beofore his game against the St. Louis Cardinals  at AT&T Park on April 9, 2011 in San Francisco, California.

When Giants closer Brian Wilson went down with a torn right beard, Sergio Rome stepped up and became the team’s closer.

Not only did he fulfill the role of closer, but he also brought a badass beard to the table.

Whose beard is better- Rome’s or Wilson?


Like Brian Wilson’s Elbow, Beards In The Summer Are DONE

No matter what Brian Wilson wants you to believe, summer is no time for a beard or a moustache. Is there a worse feeling than being stuck outside (working, gardening, drinking) in 98 degree heat being pelted by the merciless rays of the sun?

It’s amplified tenfold if you’re all bearded/goateed up because it absorbs all the sweat from your head and just SITS there. Beards are great for winter, especially if you think scarves are for girls/hipsters, and moustaches work in the fall. But in the summer, less is more. How else can you feel the soothing caress of your special lady’s hand on your face if it’s covered by facial hair? You can’t, so clean it up!


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