You’re 30 years old — you’re not seriously going to consider using Noxzema again, are you?
You’re a man now. And since you’re a man, your use of Noxzema should’ve gone the way of Teen Lines, Debbie Gibson and friendship bracelets… 20 years ago.
Don’t know what to use to moisturize that dried out piece of roast beef that looks like it’s seen the rise and fall of a million suns, AKA your face skin? Well, dummy, it’s not hard to figure out. If my neighbor Bill can figure it out, that means you can too.
February is always a dead zone for sports. After the Super Bowl, we’re left with college basketball, which is watched by very few people until March Madness kicks in, and the middle of the NBA season, which provides absolutely zero drama other than the perpetual soap opera in LA with the Lakers. Hockey isn’t even worth mentioning.
In many ways this is a welcome break as we can focus on other things, though that’s hard to do if you’re living up north battling snow storms. It’s a good time to get caught up on some books you want to read, or perhaps you can spend more time with your family. Frankly, you should earn some points with your wife or girlfriend during this time of year so they don’t bother you as much when the really good stuff hits.
So the upcoming flurry of compelling sports events that arrive every year around this time will be a huge lift for tons of fans looking to get back in front of the TV. We can expect traffic at fantasy sports sites and sports betting sites to skyrocket as events like The Masters, baseball’s Opening Day and March Madness start to fill up Sportscenter highlights.
Even though I don’t watch a ton of golf, I’ve always paid attention to The Masters since Larry Mize made that incredible chip shot in sudden death to win the 1987 Masters over The Shark. The look on Greg Norman’s face was priceless. Of course, he had more disappointments in the future, losing in heartbreaking fashion to Nick Faldo as well, so Norman never got his own green jacket.
The Larry Mize win was a thrilling moment, and this year we’ll have the perpetual debate as to whether Tiger Woods is really back. The interest in every golf event spikes if Tiger has a chance to win, and I fully expect him to be there on Sunday this year. Enjoy!
If you’re thinking of getting married, DON’T, stupid. As a man who has been “actively divorced” for three years I really don’t know why I ever decided to complicate my life.
For instance tonight, I spent two hours after work watching highlights of the 1995 NBA Dunk Contest/Three Point Shootout. I ate dinner from a can and a blender. I stopped re-watching season 2 of Breaking Bad to write this. And I haven’t even mentioned my masturbation schedule yet.
Regardless, if you’re in a hurry to shit the bed in terms of far-reaching relationship decision making, consider these facts from David’s Bridal:
- More than half of brides (57%) would change something about their engagement ring if they could, with the biggest gripe being wanting a bigger stone (19%)
- 80% would scoff at a public Facebook proposal
- 63% wouldn’t say yes to their beau proposing on a Jumbotron
- 57% of brides would say no to the ever-popular flash mob proposal!
And if she says no, she’s doing you a favor, you idiot. Remember it isn’t just the proposal that’s about her but the entire fucking relationship.
BSB- Chris we understand you are working with Edge Shaving Gel and are a member of “Team Edge”. Can you explain what that is all about?
CW- Basically it’s a contest and there are four guys in the running to be the face of Team Edge Shaving Gel from the beginning of July to the end of September. The winner becomes the next “Face of Edge” so basically the winner will have their face on a couple million cans of edge shaving gel cans. I’m trying to win but I’m in second place and I’m down by a lot, these numbers are weird man. I think there’s some cheating going on (laughing).
Who is in first place right now?
Joseph Benevides. But go and vote for me at Edgeshave.com/ufc.
How has your training and life in general changed since your knockout win over Mark Munoz?
The UFC is definitely using me more. The talk about getting Anderson Silva has been pretty big. As far as my life, not much; still have my family and still got to take care of them.
In the fight against Munoz you were physically dominant where in general, Munoz had always overwhelmed past opponents with his strength in previous fights. Was he weaker than you thought he would be, or are you that much stronger than he is?
I feel like I have deceiving strength ; I don’t look like a monster but when I get my hands on someone I’m definitely a lot stronger than I look. I felt strong in that fight. I don’t want to take too much away from him but I felt like I was definitely stronger.
You fought Damian Maia on Fox in your previous fight on 11 days’ notice. As far as training and game plan how can you do something like that?
It definitely wasn’t a great idea for me and was probably the worst experience I ever had. I had to cut 32 pounds in 10 days on top of not being in great shape. I pretty much came right off the couch and took that fight. So, I wouldn’t recommend anyone else doing that and I would never do it again myself. But it was a huge opportunity for me and I found a way to win against a guy who was top five in the world at the time. I was fighting at about 10% of what I generally feel like I fight at, but it did more for my confidence than any other fights, even the ones I’ve finished in the first round. After that fight I got a lot of criticism because it wasn’t a very exciting fight and I looked tired but it did a lot for my confidence regardless.
How different is it doing a big event like that on Fox where the UFC is going to want to be an exciting fight compared to some of the other fights in your career?
I tried my best (to make it exciting) and that’s all I can do. I won’t be taking any more on 10 days’ notice, knock on wood. But I would definitely not do it again if I have to cut weight like that again. All I can do is go out and work hard and usually that makes an exciting fight.
How do you lose 32 pounds in 10 days anyway?
It was terrible man, literally a couple days of just a spoonful of peanut butter and going thru a lot of delirium. Really not a good thing, bro. I cut weight my whole life with wrestling, and no matter how much weight you cut you always suffer a little bit, but that truly built up a fear in me to cut weight. I don’t mess around with it anymore. I just always figured “Hey, I’m tough enough I can cut whatever weight, I don’t give a crap”. But now after that my body wasn’t there for me when I was fainting, I was totally depleted of everything. It was out of control.
You’re listed at 6-2, 185 on the UFC site- what were you before that fight?
217 10 days before.
You have a psychology degree from Hofstra. How did the weight cut affect your mental state? We’re you truly delirious as you said?
Yeah, really and it was tough. It really pushed and tested my mental state. You have to be mentally tough to cut weight, but I feel like the psychology degree helps the most when are preparing for a fight, not letting the negative thoughts get into your head and really bother you. It helps with that more than anything.
Everybody wants to see you fight Anderson Silva but it seems like he is reluctant to take the fight against you- what are your feelings on that?
It’s frustrating. Since I got into the sport anytime I’d tell people I was doing MMA they’d ask what weight class and I’d say middle weight and they’d say “Isn’t that Anderson Silva’s weight class? Oh, you’re screwed. You better change weight classes, pal.” That motivated me and he deserves that type of respect ‘cause he’s earned it, but it motivated me to take risks like fighting on short notice and I’ve worked really hard to be the #1 contender and for him to just kind of downplay me, more his managers, it’s kind of frustrating. So I hope the UFC makes the fight happens but if not, I will fight someone else.
I’ll prepare for him like anyone else, just like I did for Munoz. Munoz was the worst matchup for me on paper- he was ranked #3 in the world, he has higher wrestling accolades than me and he has powerful hands; he’s knocked people out. So, on paper that was going to be a tough fight. I took that fight as a challenge and I wanted to prove people wrong, let people know where I’m at. Anderson Silva, on paper for my matchup, he’s unbelievable and the best of all time, but on paper he’s an easier matchup than Munoz.
I’m young and I don’t want to be one of those guys that lives with regret, so when I’m 50 years old looking back I don’t want to say “Oh, I should’ve taken that fight, should’ve taken that fight…” I’m gonna take whatever fight is offered and do my best and if I lose, I lose, but at least I won’t have the regret of not taking the chance.”
Check out Edge Shaving Gel and vote for Chris at Edgeshave.com/ufc
Of course they do, dummy. But according to this article on Bullz-Eye.com, you don’t want to be a complete jerk, all of the time.
Women don’t necessarily like “bad boys”- they just don’t want someone they can walk all over. Apparently, its just the women I meet who want to do that
You’re welcome, guys.
The boys over at Hommage Atelier may have just created the most perfect high end men’s grooming salon in the world. Located in Manhattan, it is the only free-standing Hommage Atelier and it provides haircuts, manicures and expensive liquor.
During his playing career, Joe Horn was an electrifying receiver who made play after play even though opposing defenses were keyed in on him week after week. Horn became a fan favorite during a career which saw him set the Saints career mark in touchdowns and make the Pro Bowl four times in five seasons. But what the fans loved even more than his production was the way he played and fought for every inch every time he had the ball.
Horn has now translated that love of football into a love of another gridiron- the one in your backyard via his new BBQ sauce Joe Horn’s Bayou 87 BBQ Sauce. And this isn’t a product marketed by a famous person that isn’t any good- you don’t even need to know who Joe Horn is to like this sauce. Read the review here.
Check out Joe Horn’s Bayou 87 BBQ Sauce at http://www.joehornbbq.com/. And follow Joe on both Twitter (@JoeHorn87) and on Facebook. Joe answers all Tweets he receives and does as much on Facebook as he can, a point that Joe emphasized.
“People ask me all the time on Twitter if this is the “real” Joe Horn. And I tell ‘em the same thing every time: 6-1, 212 pounds of twisted steel with sex appeal. It’s your boy HOLLYWOOD 87!!”
What’s better than feeling a man’s moustache rub against your cheek, ladies? What’s better than its scent, its carefully crafted arc? It’s what makes a man, a man, baby. And that’s what you’re after.
The “Handlebar Moustache” says, “Hey baby I’m rough and tough and build things made out of iron and use power tools, casually, but I’ve also got the savior faire and finesse of a young Tom Selleck- how far is your apartment from here?”
If you want to set the MLB all time save record when you grow up, here’s how to groom your own “Handlebar”.
Remember ladies, the “Handlebar” likes to tickle- and don’t you like to be tickled??
An endless array of hats? The buzzcut? The bald “cue ball” look? All are reasonable choices It’s something none of us want to think about, but unfortunately some of us will have to face; the receding hairline. Before you go bald, here are a few things you can do. Or, you can get really good at martial arts, get a six pack and pretend you are Jason Statham at all times.
What is the difference between a talented barber and a bearded butcher? There is a world of difference, especially when it comes to training, experience, approach and method. If you want to become a real barber, then you need to focus on getting a well-rounded education and the knowledge to keep customers coming back to you again and again.
Becoming the Best Barber That You Can Be
When you choose to become a barber as a career, your first step is to know what makes a good barber. Those who enter the profession are usually trained in all methods of cutting and styling. The best barbers have the following traits:
-broad knowledge of cutting techniques
-knowledge of how to dye hair
-excellent communication skills
-good business sense
You can cultivate these skills through a willingness to learn and by acquiring the right training.
Your first step is to enroll at a barber or cosmetology school to get professional training. Cosmetology schools will have the ability to teach you a wider range of techniques for cutting, which can benefit you in your career. As you train, you will learn the basics of cutting and styling and get hands on experience cutting real clients’ hair as you progress in your program. This prepares you to receive your certification and license once you have finished school.
Knowing Your Trade and Your Customers
A barber that ends up butchering beards is all about speed but not precision. This barber does not communicate with the customer or pay attention to details. This equates to a cheap job that makes the customer avoid coming back. The professional barber knows the terminology and techniques. This includes:
-the neckline style: tapered, straight or rounded
-hair texture: choppiness, razor cut, layering, thinned
-style for sideburns
-how the hair should be cut over the ears
When your client sits down, start by asking questions about these areas, how the hair should be styled and what the customer liked about the last haircut received. This will give you valuable information as to exactly what the client wants. Then, it is your turn to make any suggestions that you have to improve the look. As you are cutting the client’s hair, stop periodically to ask their opinion on the cut. This shows that you are actively trying to meet the client’s request to get the perfect style.
It’s also important for you to keep up with the latest trends in styling and cutting so you can offer your customers the best service. Taking the time to further your education (for example, by taking your master barbers test) will benefit your business. You’ll also need to have knowledge of solid business practices, expenses and how to track your sales. These will blend together into a successful career that will make your work enjoyable and profitable. What kind of barber do you want to be?
Image via Wikipedia