E-mail, E-dating and Eazy- E- What other “E” does a man even need? Check out eShave, homeboy. And whip that POS beard into shape, ASAP.

It’s cold out, so it’s time to grow a beard, especially if you play for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Current Steelers defensive end Brett Keisel is the latest Steelers player to dawn a beard that most men can only fantasize about. “Da Beard” as it has been dubbed, has it’s own facebook page and Twitter account, and presumably, a slew of willing women.

Prior to “Da Beard”, longtime Steelers guard Alan Faneca rocked a beard of similar girth, using it to mushroom stamp defenders and put them on their backs.

So in a head to head battle of recent Steelers history, whose beard is the “Alpha Beard” – Keisel’s or Faneca’s?

It’s Movember, the month formerly known as November, which is dedicated to growing moustaches and raising awareness and funds for men’s health. A moustache (Mo) will spark conversations, and no doubt generate some laughs; all in the name of raising vital awareness and funds for cancers affecting men.

Why be so passionate about men’s health?
* 1 in 6 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime
* A man is diagnosed with prostate cancer every 2.2 minutes
* 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime
* 24% of men are less likely to go the doctor compared to women

Check out http://us.movember.com/about to join the “mo”vement.

Just because the ”Predator” is chasing you thru the jungle doesn’t mean you have to use substandard shaving products. And even if he isn’t, if you aren’t going to spend money on a decent shave cream, you need to readjust your priorities.

Sure, you’re used to the act of dragging cold metal across dry, fractured skin in an effort to remove facial hair- you’ve been doing it that way for years. But did you know that shaving can be rewarding? That when done correctly, with a high end product, it can make your life better?

Try out Twin Luxe then tell me I’m wrong.

In baseball in a critical situation, sometimes you need to put in a pinch hitter to change the flow and momentum of a game. Say you’re the Red Sox in the late 80’s and you’re down by a run in the ninth with men on second and third with two outs. Jody Reed enters the game and promptly slaps a pitch off the Green Monster for a double, scoring two runs, giving the BoSox the lead. The Axe Fixers line is like a young Jody Reed, leading the AL in doubles in 1990, completely changing the game.

The Axe Fixers line is a collection of shower gels and deodorant body sprays that are “designed to help guys revitalize the senses to fix their mind and change the game.”

Check it out here.

If we don’t pass on the oral tradition of just how great their beards were, who will? The answer is, sadly, no one. In today’s “metrosexualized” world of “manscaping” and “ear hair removal”, a band like ZZ Top would’ve never made it onto a stage in your local town. Musical talent you say? Puffttt. In today’s “plucked eyebrow” musical universe, they would’ve been voted off “X Factor” before they made it in from the parking lot.

So please, pull a youth in your care aside tonight for an hour, and make them ingest Deguello before bed.

The stats are in- Chicago is the most “Moustache Friendly” city in the US. After a two year study by the American Moustache Institute, the “City of Broad Shoulders” won the title. AMI behavioral economists sought to better understand which top-performing metropolitan areas provide the most nourishing opportunities and livable communities for people of Mustached American descent.

As a result, “Stache Bash 2011” will be held in Chicago on October 28^th. Start growing your “stache” now and maybe you can sneak in.

What’s better than feeling a man’s moustache rub against your cheek, ladies? What’s better than its scent, its carefully crafted arc? It’s what makes a man, a man, baby. And that’s what you’re after.

The “Handlebar Moustache” says, “Hey baby I’m rough and tough and build things made out of iron and use power tools, casually, but I’ve also got the savior faire and finesse of a young Tom Selleck- how far is your apartment from here?”

If you want to set the MLB all time save record when you grow up, here’s how to groom your own “Handlebar”.

Remember ladies, the “Handlebar” likes to tickle- and don’t you like to be tickled??

Ryan Fitzpatrick may be the most underrated QB in the entire NFL, but his beard is the undisputed #1 QB beard in the entire NFL. Last season, Fitzpatrick’s beard almost got more notice than his production after he was inserted into the starting lineup prior to week four. Fitzpatrick went on to throw 23 TUDS over the next 13 games, and immediately improved a bad team.

With the start of the 2011 NFL season this weekend, Fitzpatrick has already started growing the 2011 version of the beard, no matter what his wife thinks about it. So while you may not ever be an NFL QB, you can at least grow a beard like one.

Don’t ask any questions, don’t look at me all stupid, just get in there and trim it up. There was an era when the ladies loved the exploits of the chest hair Tom Jones was attached to. But now, men aren’t men thanks to Robert Pattinson and his ilk.

I’m not advocating using a Bic razor and shaving it off completely, just a trim job. Chest hair really is the least of our concerns when it comes to body hair. Especially if you make it look all cool like this dude. Or this guy. The real issue is your hairy ass legs, my man. No, the inside of them, right below the family jewels. Don’t be the male of “Gin-uh” in The 40 Year Old Version.