The New Hairdo: The Hair Does You

You know the hairdo; anybody who works for a nameless corporation has seen the IT people in their company rocking this hairstyle, along with bleached white Jerry Seinfled-esque tennis shoes and tight blue denim jeans worn in classic “high-water” style. You can’t just grow it; it grows you.

It’s sort of like Rod Blagojevich’s hair but without the forced part and looks more like a sponge/white afro. The hair just IS. So what’s a brother to do? Rock that shit. It’s in like made for TV Kardashian weddings.

  

2011 Hyundai Equus Signature Gallery at Bullz-Eye

Hyundai Equus.

The guys at Bullz-Eye are getting ready to test drive a 2011 Hyundai Equus Signature so they’ve put together a gallery to show off the car. Here’s what they have to say so far:

Equus is the top of the line in a growing and stylish Hyundai brand. We were very impressed with the largess, design and luxurious appointments of the Equus. The moment you get behind the wheel it’s very clear that the Equus is a serious player in the luxury market.

While you wait on the review, head over to the Bullz-Eye Blog and check out the 2011 Hyundai Equus Signature gallery.

  

Lice Ain’t Nice

We spend a lot of time covering hair on this blog, so let’s spend a column talking about your “uninvited roommate”, lice. Finding out you have lice is like finding out you’re pregnant- suddenly, an organism is living off your every move, depending on you for survival. Lice are like that sleazy ex-girlfriend you used hang out with on the sneak tip, late at night. While you sleep, they creep, gaining ground by the week.

So what do you do if someone you love has lice? Shun them. Cut off all ties. Just stop hanging out with them altogether. Even if it’s your mom, daughter, wife- especially wife. It’s the only sure way. If you still want to hang out with them, have them follow these steps and pray to the heavens. Because in the end, roaches, lice and lawyers will outlive us all.  Word is bond.

  

Sexy girls with guns

We love beautiful women regardless of what they are posing with, but girls with guns have some serious sex appeal.

  

White People And Dreadlocks Are Out

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In a sense, white people with dreadlocks are an offense to nature, like the “Double Down” sandwich from Burger King. While the “Double Down” literally gives Mother Nature the middle finger (combining parts from pig, chicken and cow, then frying it), white people with dreads do much the same thing because they are forced and do not occur naturally.

Was that style ever really “in”, anyway? We all knew “Phish Kid” who had them and thought it was a phase, just like the copious drug use. Unless you’re Jon Favreau in the cult hit PCU, and you happen to be white, don’t do it. We all know you’re just mad at your dad.

What was that? You want to know how to style your hair into dreadlocks, and you’re a white person? Well, step one is to stop showering, which is no way to start a new hair style or anything else really.

  

2011 Mazda MX-5 Miata Special Edition Gallery

Mazda MX-5 Miata.

The guys at Bullz-Eye are getting ready to test drive the 2011 Mazda MX-5 Miata Special Edition. They’ve put together a gallery to show off the little roadster in the meantime. The Sparkling Black Mica Miata has a hard top that drops in seconds and is one fun car to drive. Check back for the full review of this sports car in a few weeks and check out the full gallery at the Bullz-Eye Blog.

  

Bullz-Eye reviews the 2011 Hyundai Genesis 4.6 Sedan

Hyundai Genesis 4.6 review

Bullz-Eye recently got behind the wheel of the Hyundai Genesis for a second time. They had reviewed the coupe, but this time got a look at Hyundai’s idea of luxury in the Genesis 4.6L Sedan. They came away impressed, too. Hyundai made a bit of a gamble entering the luxury market under the Hyundai nameplate, but the Genesis is everything you could want in a quality sedan.

Here’s an excerpt from the review:

For those of you car fans who haven’t checked out the interior of the 2011 Hyundai Genesis 4.6, get ready to smile. This car doesn’t disappoint. A spacious and luxurious interior that is well planned and very comfortable are what the Genesis is about here, folks. Our test model was loaded with ultra-premium jet black leather seating with heated front seats and cooled driver seat. We drove this car in 90-degree heat and intense humidity and, let me tell you, the ventilated cool driver seat was absolutely amazing. It kicked in quickly and cooled your whole body. There is a certain upscale feel in the cabin mostly reserved for much more expensive luxury sedans. With options that included tailored leather wrapped dash and door trim inserts, wood grained trimmed power tilt and telescopic steering wheel and front and rear parking assist with rear camera, the interior leaves little to be desired. A standout Lexicon 17-speaker 7.1 discrete audio system rocked with the crystal clear XM satellite radio and elevated the driving experience.

For the full 2011 Hyundai Genesis 4.6L Sedan review, head over to the Bullz-Eye Cars channel.

  

Manscaping- Just Do It

Don’t ask any questions, don’t look at me all stupid, just get in there and trim it up. There was an era when the ladies loved the exploits of the chest hair Tom Jones was attached to. But now, men aren’t men thanks to Robert Pattinson and his ilk.

I’m not advocating using a Bic razor and shaving it off completely, just a trim job. Chest hair really is the least of our concerns when it comes to body hair. Especially if you make it look all cool like this dude. Or this guy. The real issue is your hairy ass legs, my man. No, the inside of them, right below the family jewels. Don’t be the male of “Gin-uh” in The 40 Year Old Version.

  

Ear Hair Is The New Nose Hair

I was 16 and in Scotland for the first time. As much as I want to remember anything else about the trip, I can’t. The only thing I could focus on for the duration or remember even now was the immense amount of ear hair my host had protruding from each ear. 

It had the density of unkempt weeds of a highway off ramp and the thickness of the Sequoia National Park. I couldn’t listen to anything this man said, or respect any of his opinions because of one simple fact; his ear hair was out of control.

When was the last time you thought about or even looked at your ear hair? If you can see it in the mirror, it needs to be trimmed. Even if you go to Wal-Mart and buy the cheapest trimmer (for around $10) it could be the difference between spending time with a hot “Betty” you meant poolside, and another night playing “Modern Warfare” drinking PBR. I think the choice is obvious.

  

Bill Simmons take heat for his mustache

In his new mailbag on his new website (Grantland.com), ESPN’s Bill Simmons shares some of the funnier emails he received regarding his new mustache:

Q: Saw you on PTI, Simmons. I have a quiz for you:

Your mustache makes you look like:

A) A supervillain’s accountant.
B) A wealthy/preppy date-rapist’s enabling father.
C) A Russian arms dealer.
D) A washed-up porn star trying desperately to stay relevant past his expiration date.
E) Tom Selleck’s creepy half-brother.
F) All of the above.
— Nick, Seattle

SG: Uh-oh, it looks like we’ve reached the “Rag on Simmons’ mustache” portion of the mailbag. Put on your seat belt and brace yourselves …

Q: I saw you on PTI the other day, and I was just wondering: Does the mustache come with a white, windowless van, or did you have to buy your own?
— Joe, Chicago

SG: I’m renting. Come on, let’s keep this moving, keep ‘em coming.

Q: Quick question: I’m casting a new reality show called “Guys Who Look Somewhat Normal Until They Grow Facial Hair, Then … Hide Your Damned Kids!”. We’re looking at a Spike TV pickup for the spring season. You in or do I need to go through a booking agent?
— Jeremy, Boise, ID

SG: Count me in. As long as it doesn’t conflict with the filming of Magnum PTI.

Q: Nice stache, you look like everyone’s gay uncle that’s still in the closet, but everyone really knows he’s gay.
— Tim, Boston

SG: Thanks^.

It does look pretty funny . . .

  

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